Jon Stewart is back, and oh boy, are some of us pissed.
In the aftermath of Stewart going after Biden, some of us liberals took to Twitter with (what some might call deranged) takes to supposedly “mild” criticisms of Biden. Shortly after, we were bombarded with tons of criticisms from the Millennials and Gen Z’s who rule the internet.
These are some of the tweets that got the most criticisms and mockery, but don’t fret: I, Lucas The Liberal, diehard Dem and Biden simp, will be explaining why all these takes are correct and why everyone else is the moron. See, it’s actually everyone else who liked Monday’s episode of The Daily Show who needs to touch grass and get to know everyday Americans.
Please join me while wearing one on the sixteen blue MAGA hat leftovers we made when he thought we could get more votes by appealing to the right, as we share some delicious liberal wisdom with the web.
Biden really is like Yoda, guys.
Look, you may think Yoda and Biden are polar opposites. Yoda after all never funded a genocide, thought Luke at nineteen was too old to become a Jedi that could take down that film’s fascists (so what would he think of Biden trying to take down Trump?), and did exactly what you all wish Biden to do: retire somewhere where you never hear from him, and where he can enjoy his Dagobah pina colada in peace for the remaining years his old ass has left.
Well, I’m here to tell you that you have tunnel vision. See, that’s Empire Yoda only. Yoda in the rest of the franchise is very much like Biden:
- Return of the Jedi Yoda? Literally hanging by a thread. Dude was so close to death, it surprised no one when he actually kicked the bucket.
- Prequel Trilogy Yoda? I mean, him and his government there are kinda responsible for the rise of a fascist empire. Very much like Biden and the neoliberals.
- Don’t know much about Baby Yoda, but babies have a lot in common with elderly people whose brains are melting.
- Yoda’s speech pattern is backwards, and so is Biden’s sometimes (although Yoda at least gets all the proper words out every time).
So actually, yes, Biden and Yoda are very much alike.
Calling biden old = white dudebro stuff
86% of Americans now think Biden is too old, but that’s just silly polls and data.
Also, leftists have to understand that even if we find proof that women and minorities share the same opinions as white dudes on something but aren’t as loud with it, in no way does that have to do with white dudes on-average having more of a platform and being less gaslighted to put up with whatever bullshit rich old powerful white men do in America.
Realities like those are only important to bring up when we liberals fearmonger about Republicans. Any other time, just don’t think about stuff like that. You know, like the ongoing effect of Biden’s crime bill from the 90’s.
Jon Stewart CHANGED, bruh.
I know that longtime Daily Show fans pointed out that Jon Stewart always went after both parties and Biden especially, but there is a difference.
Back then he would go after Biden for being a creepy old man; now he’s just doing mild critiques of the guy and his base. See? I told you there’s a difference.
And yes, it’s a difference that matters. We are a lot more partisan than in the Bush/Obama years. In fact, the only reason it seemed “liberals” back then loved Jon Stewart is ’cause a lot of those liberals were young Millennials who are now leftists. We never turned stupid like they did and still subscribe to 90’s Clinton Democrat-era neoliberalism. No, we aren’t stuck in the past or out of touch with 21st century problems.
They look the same
Seriously, don’t they look the same? Especially around the eyes. One totally doesn’t look like he’s about to fall asleep and needs more Adderall than I did in college.
And of course, looks matter more than anything. Please ignore the fact that the former isn’t even old enough to retire or access Social Security and is only a late Boomer, while the latter is in his 80’s and part of the Greatest Generation. Oh, and the fact that Jon is also clearly still cognizant and as sharp as ever while Joey had visible decline to the point he can’t be found guilty over classified documents? Eh, that’s all just surface dressing.
Most importantly, running a comedy show on Comedy Central is just as hard as being the President of the United States and running the White House, if not harder. Stewart’s fine, so Biden beating Trump and getting four more years will be a cakewalk.
Is Rolling Stone Right?
Kudos to Rolling Stone for highlighting the correct problem with Stewart. Yes, it’s true that he spent a whole minute highlighting all the ways Biden is significantly better than Trump, even calling back to the “grab ’em by the pussy” that Democrats haven’t talked about in years – but he still wasn’t clear enough that both sides aren’t equally bad.
And that’s on him. Look, I’m not saying he can’t criticize Biden. To borrow a quote from the Republicans that we like to compromise with, “protest but not like that”.
That’s all I ask of him… and of all you too! (P.S. I love you)
Jon Stewart the fascist enabler
Another two brilliant tweets taken out of context by bad faith actors. Let me break down the core message here:
You know how in movies there’s a kid living with abusive parents who wants to run away from home? Then whenever the parents find out, they’re like “We’re the best you got, boy, no one will love you like we do. The adults that see your homeless ass under a bridge will rob/kill/rape you and sell your organs on the free market.”
The kid doesn’t listen, though, because he’s just a dumb kid instead of an adult (obviously!). He runs away and learns that, yes, his sucky-ass parents were great because they’re not as bad as those other adults that would fuck with their food, health and well-being really, really bad.
In fact, it’s the moment where the kids finally grows up and realizes that any amount of basic self-respect is a child’s fantasy. He even buys his birth-parents an apology gift on his way back home.
Anytime I’m feeling super liberal (like, more liberal than even now), I put one of those suckers in my Blu-ray. They got a heartwarming message in a 1990’s Robin-Williams-movie-kind-of way.
Two Old guys again? So what?
Well said: It is a lot like race and gender.
Biden and Trump may be over 75, but they identify as 28.
KEITH OLBERMANN THE MVP
Don’t know anything about this guy but he worked at CNN and MSNBC. Shoutout to my dude.
“look what time has brought.”
It really was sad to see a show called ‘The Daily Show’ repeat material from 2014 instead of new ground like, say, the 2024 election.
Don’t let those who watched the show tell you differently.
What’s that? They did cover new stuff? I guess that means my point is, uhm… Look, Donald Trump is right behind you with a knife!
Bernie ComparisonS
Radical leftist Putin worshippers will say Bernie seems the most cognitive out of the three old men by far, but is Bernie’s mind sharp enough to acknowledge the greatness of chocolate chip cookies? Didn’t think so.
Would Bernie have chosen to let the child tax credit expire like Biden and let the economy boom the way it did? And oh man, did it boom. Like a lot. Seriously. I mean it.
Overall, it’s smart for this tweet to not bring up Gaza as something that could hurt Biden. The peasants will forget the worst atrocity since at least the Vietnam War in about seven months anyway.
Subatomic Viewer 
Leave a comment